I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I can text with my tongue
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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