You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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