I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
