dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
