I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
