and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize