He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
