i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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