you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
