I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
