I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
