Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
