I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
