i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
