38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
