You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
