do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
