She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
