My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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