Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
