There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
