seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
