my room smells like sperm. sweet.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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