Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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