Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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