That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize