dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
