Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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