He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize