I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
