How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
