I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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