grandma shit on top of the toilet
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
