i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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