Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
