From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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