She is in my trunk
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
