at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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