I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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