That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
