he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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