Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize