I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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