I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My breasts were aching with rage.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Dick very happy bro
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
