Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
oh god the rape fog is back!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
