We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
