I bet he comes in French.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
