Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
