grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize