Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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