Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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