i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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