i need an iv and a liver transplant
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
