I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
