You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
