I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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