you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize