she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
