and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
