fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You were trust falling into bushes
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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