we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
