How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
