Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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