hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
