Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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