You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
