Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
