Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
