Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
