Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He did a backflip because drugs
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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