Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
