We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
