your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
