If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
