And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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