I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
