Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
