What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
This is my gift to your gina
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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